Motivational Monday: Reclaiming a Marriage After an Unplanned Pregnancy

This past week, our daughter spent some time with her grandparents. She played with her cousins, consumed massive amounts of sweets, and stayed up late watching her beloved Disney movies. Basically, she had a blast. Just as importantly, the Hubby and I had some much-needed alone time.

By mharvey 75 using the Creative Commons License

Our daughter—as much as we love her—was a surprise. Dating for several years, we planned to marry and start a family eventually. But mother nature inevitably took charge and we couldn’t procrastinate any longer. Glaring down a positive pregnancy test and barely visible baby bump, we suddenly found ourselves with an enormous responsibility at hand. To grow up quickly, to become the responsible nine-to-fiver, that buys insurance and pension plans, owns a family car and home. The whole nine yards in merely nine months. And yes, add getting married at six-months pregnant into the mix.

Like my hormones, our relationship went through a whirlwind. We never experienced marriage minus the kids, or even a honeymoon. But we regarded all previous years being just a couple the vacation—which now seemed like a distant memory.

During our week alone, we made several references to those missing marital years: Well, this must be what being married feels like! We had dinners alone. Deep conversations over wine. Long walks holding hands. A marriage uninterrupted.

Yet, at times I would glance behind me and notice an empty carseat, toddler bed, toys scattered across the living room floor. As much as we wanted to relive our carefree years through these date nights, we weren’t young anymore, nor single or childless.

We are a family.

Reuniting with my daughter again brought so much joy. She is the heart of all our hard work, our marriage and our life. She is not a burden, or the symbol of a single life lost. She is the product of our strength, perseverance, and faith that love conquers all.

If being away from my daughter confirmed my desire for family, it also exemplified our imminent future—of plenty more alone time. For all our hard work and love will finally come to fruition when our daughter ultimately claims her independence. And rather than wishing for some much-needed alone time, I will be desperately grasping to hold her in my arms again.

By Miss Kim Marie, using the Creative Commons License 

But, maybe by then, the Hubby and I would have already repaired age-old wounds, built deeper connections, and renewed spirits—so we can too frolic the sandy beaches of some distant island, like a newly married couple, looking onward to the horizon.