Food-Laden Feats

I love to cook. I am not particularly talented in the cooking department. I just love to try new things, new recipes, and particularly feeding people.

This week, I'm putting my love to test, and hosting my sister's baby shower. There will be plenty of people, plenty of food, and here's hoping happy tummies.

I've spent weeks plotting possible menus and fearing food failure. I think about the endeavor I'm about to take and whether it will ever meet the culinary standards set by my mother, mother-in-law, and their mothers' mother.

But again, they all had to start somewhere. And for me what better time than now, to feed the people I love. Especially feeding the biggest and most beautiful belly in the house...and tiniest inside.


Cooking is like love; it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.

― Julia Child

Building Beauty, From the Inside Out

Biting into a plate of food, I suddenly feel a strange snap inside my mouth. I place my finger on a tooth and abruptly it falls out. I make my way across my gums and, one by one, teeth crumble. I panic as I frantically try piecing together the white porcelain shards in my palm. I suddenly wake up from this nightmare.

A reoccurring dream of mine, I ponder its possible meaning. By this weekend, its significance is painfully clear.

On Saturday morning, I feel an incredible pain in my molar—a throbbing menace that moves through my sinuses, head and ears. Monday morning, the tooth/headache is unbearable. By Tuesday morning, I am dialing dentists, desperately trying to book an appointment.

The final diagnosis: tooth decay, two root canals.

Bedridden for several days, I am fuming over the astronomical dental bill, frustrated that the meds aren't working, sad that I can't be with my daughter. More so, I feel guilt.

These root canals are completely preventable. Yes, I admit, I am a sugar addict. I also hate going to the dentist. I put off important tasks. But these are simply symptoms of a larger, underlying ailment.

Dreams of teeth falling out are quite common. Some dream interpreters believe teeth represent one’s attractiveness, beauty and self-confidence. Caring about how we appear is apparently quite normal and creates a certain amount of anxiety.

But what happens when the pursuit of perfection becomes an compulsion that rots you from the inside out? When you chronically coat your teeth with high-calorie, high-carbohydrate foods and then bath them in hydrochloric stomach acid? When you yet again must confront the unimaginable damage of self-inflicted abuse.

As I work towards rebuilding my teeth, I am reminded of a painful past, battling a very personal, very shameful body image problem. Sad little shards of insecurity and self-hatred that I now hold in the palm of my hand. Though I've come to treat my harmful habits, I still pay an enormous price for my actions, which I hope to one day settle. But that's ok, 'cause I am worth every penny.

Anticuchos for Lunch

Anticuchos for Lunch, a photo by garrisu on Flickr.

What's for lunch? Anticuchos!

For my non-Peruvian amigos, anticucho is beef heart, marinated with vinegar/garlic/aji pepper/cilantro, grilled on a skewer. My personal favorite, I love eating them with potatoes.

For the adventurous, you can purchase beef heart at any local grocery store's meat department. Here is a recipe I found online.

Or if you can frequent a Peruvian restaurant, try them. And don't forget the Cusqueña.